This post will be a bit heavy and steer from fashion because I’ve had some things on my mind that I wanted to share. For the majority of my life I’ve dealt with depression. Being the only girl in a house full of chaos really took it’s toll. I didn’t have anyone to express my sadness and frustration to so I turned to watching New York Fashion Week live or their older live streams of shows, I would also turn to music like evanescence, The Fray, Christina Aguilera, I could go on and on but that was my escape. At that time in my life I felt worthless, unloved, like I wanted to run away. Living in a space where no one cared to understand you because you were a teenage girl with an attitude (As if it was an unusual sighting) it makes you feel like you have nothing or no one to turn to and that was often my situation. While I will not get too deep into detail I will say I was treated unfairly. As a teenage girl with a smaller family you would think we would be close and do so many things together but that wasn’t the case. Meanwhile, I’m going through this phase of figuring out who I wanted to be and during those times are when you need your people the most. I am now a 23 year old woman and my feelings have done a complete 360. Although I still deal with depression and still lack a family connection I am now standing for ME! Those situations gave me the strength to see who and what I wanted to be! I know now I want to be able to reach out to people going through the things I went through. I know now I dont have to rely on love of others to feel loved because I have myself. Self love is more than just the physical it’s also about the mental YOU and how you take care of yourself! I have always been labeled as the drama queen when I react to peoples actions. NO MORE! I refuse to let the negativity of others put me back into the headspace I was once in.
To all of you NEVER let any relative( mom, brother, sister, dad,etc.), friend, lover of any form make you feel worthless, unloved, or as if your feelings matter less than theirs! Focus on your mental and physical beauty before giving all of yourself to the life happening around you.
How do you take time out to give yourself the care you need? Comment below!
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Talk to you guys soon!